Here are ten stories of how your support of United Way of the Mid-South has made a difference in people's lives in our region. Feel free to use these stories in your efforts to share the impact of United Way with your co-workers, friends and family members.
Story One: A boy trapped in a home with alcohol and drug addicted parents.
Education (counseling) and Health highlights.
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When parents live life from one day to the next in an alcohol and drug fueled haze, their young children are growing up with a distorted view of reality even if they aren't participating in the chemical abuse.
Christopher (not his real name, privacy protected) knew enough to understand his home life was a mess. He also knew that if he stayed with his parents and their self-abusive ways, they would eventually start abusing him.
“I knew things were going on there that were not right, but my parents acted like it was okay, so what could I say?” Christopher said.
“One night it all ended...when the police knocked on our door,” Christopher recalls.
Christopher was assigned to a social worker, removed from his parents' care and taken to an emergency shelter program that is part of the United Way agency network of care. “The emergency shelter that I went to was picked out by my social worker,” Christopher said. “I am not sure what would have happened to me if I had not been taken to the shelter.”
The agency’s House Parents took time with Christopher and showed him what it was like to live with a properly-functioning family. Christopher says for the first time in his life, he began to have some fun living at home.
“I don’t always like the strict rules and making us do set things at set times, but I do realize it’s all because they love me and really care about me,” he said. “That makes me feel good inside.”
Christopher, who is now 16 years old, can see a big difference between where he was in life and where he is now. He is optimistic about his future and no longer fears staying at home with family.
Many parents suffering from habitual substance abuse do not realize what their addictions are doing to their children. Your support of United Way makes sure that when children like Christopher are liberated from dangerous home environments there are shelters in place and programs available to help rebuild their lives.
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Story Two: A senior citizen receives job training after the death of her husband.
Education (job training), Financial Stability and Health highlights.
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Starting her a new career as a receptionist was not what 65-year-old Mary Beth (not her real name, privacy protected) thought she would be doing at this time in her life. But she is happy to be on her way to self-sufficiency again after fearing she would be unable to pay bills and cover expenses.
Recently widowed and living alone on Social Security, Mary Beth discovered she could not afford her health insurance and other expenses. She was fearful for her future and did not know which way to turn.
Through the help of a friend, Mary Beth got in touch with a United Way partner agency that gave her information about community resources and training for a new career as a receptionist. Shortly after the training, Mary-Beth was hired. With the wages from her new job, she has enough to pay for her health insurance.
“She is no longer stuck inside her house with little hope. Now she is better able to stand on her own two feet,” said an agency counselor.
“Knowing the people at work are depending on me gets me up everyday with a real sense of purpose,” Mary Beth said. “I get out of the house and get to meet interesting people. I like to think I help them but I know they help me.”
Your generous support of United Way's network of care helps people achieve greater financial stability. Your gifts help people like Mary Beth who are without hope gain a new perspective on life and turn cases of fear into examples of a brighter future.
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Story 3: A man with early-onset dementia receives care and treatment when his condition worsens beyond his family’s ability to provide care.
Senior citizen emphasis. Health highlights.
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He had always been a "John Wayne" type of man who didn't know a challenge he couldn't face, didn't know a battle he couldn't win. But as he aged, he had to fight an enemy that didn't play by the rules and slowly he was losing. The battle was with a fast-moving form of early-onset dementia. Within a short time, the man's family knew he needed 24-hour care.
Carol (not her real name, privacy protected)recalls the decline in her father's health and the impact it had on her family: “My father began having memory loss and was diagnosed with dementia,” she said. “He was diagnosed at an early age, which forced him to take early retirement.”
“This disease has moved fast and has affected our family’s life drastically,” Carol said. “My father was not able to take care of any of his own needs and required 24 hour care. My mother had to become his full-time caregiver. My brother also helped with his care. Then my mother became ill and was ordered to stop her caregiving activities.”
When Carol saw her father's health problems were beyond the family's ability to provide care, she decided to seek out a United Way partner agency for help.
“We visited the agency and enrolled my father in day services that were designed specifically for his needs,” Carol said. “We were impressed with the agency for many reasons, first and foremost that the Dementia/Alzheimer’s daily care was managed by a registered nurse.”
Carol’s father was enrolled "and he has enjoyed every minute of it," she says. The agency groups patients together to play cards, bingo and other activities. Her father attends two days per week to play cards, and he works with staff at the center to improve his motor skills and his ability to eat on his own, among other things. Carol reports the agency is helping her mother too, and she has joined a senior adult leadership class and also enjoys much-needed time to rest.
Thanks to your support of United Way, senior citizens with special needs like Carol’s parents are cared for when their ability to care for themselves is compromised.
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Story 4: Domestic abuse threatens the lives of a young mother and her children.
Education (community resources) Financial Stability (help with rent and basics) and Health (escape from abuse).
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Amy saw the look in her boyfriend's eyes, felt the pain from his most recent blows, heard the words he hatefully said and understood:
"He is going to kill me."
Amy's (not her real name, privacy protected) violent boyfriend had control over her and her two young children - Amy had no one to turn to, and no place to go. But the threat of losing her life sent enough panic through her system to make her take a chance and seek help from a United Way partner agency.
“We were stunned when she came into our facility,” said an agency counselor. “Not only was she severely beaten, she was emotionally all in pieces, and she was feeling internal pain. We did not know if she had internal bleeding or not."
Tending to her physical health needs, the agency coordinators also talked with Amy about ending the cycle of violence. They helped her learn about the traits of an abuser, helped her form a safety plan and told her about other helpful resources in our community.
“We contacted housing developers in our area to help find Amy a new home,” the counselor added. “The housing developers put Amy and her children in an older section of town where neighbors look out for each other.”
The agency helped moved Amy and even paid her rent deposit and first month’s rent. As for Amy’s boyfriend, he was charged with aggravated assault with intent to kill.
“Amy needed many items to start over,” the counselor said. “We helped her with diapers, cleaning supplies and toiletries. Her two youngest children still needed assistance and we did our best to make sure they have a chance at a much happier, healthier life.”
When people face horrific challenges like Amy and her two children, it is good to know that your gifts to United Way ensure a safety net is there to help them regain their lives. Thanks to your generosity, over 100 United Way agencies are operating over 200 programs to help improve education, financial stability and health in our Mid-South region.
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Story 5: A young girl overcomes parenting challenges to achieve great success.
Education (family mentoring), Health (family health, self-image issues) emphasis.
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Melody (not her real name, privacy protected) was a little girl who had to grow up fast in order to take care of her even younger sister.
Melody's mother had been attending domestic violence groups but was steadily shrinking from her motherly responsibilities. By default, these responsibilities fell on Melody’s young shoulders. As she took over the care of her baby sister, Melody’s mother continued on a downward spiral. With no employment and no prospects for a better future, Melody's mother “gave up on life.”
Through a concerned friend, Melody was brought to one of our network agency partners that is supported by your gifts to United Way.
“Despite her age, Melody rose to the occasion,” said one agency counselor. “She was watching out for her sister, and took up the slack created by mother. She fixed meals, did housework and helped her sister with homework. But her mother’s lack of example was not good for her. She needed help and guidance.”
The agency helped Melody by getting the family involved in counseling sessions. While Melody was still excelling in school and maintaining a high grade point average, she needed a mentor and a secure home very badly so that she could vent her concerns and share her hopes and dreams.
“Melody came to our agency, as a scared little girl,” said the counselor, “but she also knew that she was smart and that she could achieve anything she put her mind to.” Melody became a peer leader in the adolescent group at the clinic and helped facilitate the regularly weekly meetings.
Melody wanted to attend college, but she was worried that going away to school would leave her mother unable to fulfill her motherly responsibilities to the family. She was trying to get her mother to attend the family counseling sessions but she refused to go. She had sunken deeper in debt and was no longer willing to do anything for anyone, even her own family. An agency counselor visited the home and talked with Melody’s mother. The counselor explained the benefits her two daughters were getting out of the clinic and explained that attending the counseling sessions could also be of help to her personally.
Melody's mother slowly started coming to sessions and over time began to realize her responsibilities to care for her family.
By the time Melody was a senior in high school, her mother had started to regain her self confidence. Melody received a scholarship and, reassured that life in her family was improving, went off to college.
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Story 6: A late teenager receives literacy training.
Education (literacy training, GED), Financial Stability (ability to secure a job with GED) and Health (eating disorder) emphasis.
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Jerry (not his real name, privacy protected) was faking his way through life. Already in his late teens, Jerry was hiding a secret that was becoming more difficult to conceal with each passing day: he was unable to read.
Jerry entered a United Way partner’s adult literacy program after he finally decided he wanted to take the steps necessary to overcome his inability to read. He was also struggling with other health and mental issues, including a dangerous eating disorder. With so many obstacles in his way, learning to read and getting a GED was not easy.
“I did not get my GED the first time I tried,” Jerry said, “but with the help of the United Way agency's literacy program, through hard work and determination and faith in the Lord, I did prevail.”
Recently, Jerry took the ACT test and is interested in pursuing college-level studies for a career in child education.
“We are all proud of Jerry and his success,” said one agency counselor. “Jerry's story is an inspiration for other teens and adults that have problems. His self esteem has increased and he is coping well with challenges.”
Your support of United Way's network of care helps people like Jerry overcome obstacles that people cannot conquer alone. Thank you for supporting the United Way fundraising campaign!
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Story 7: An abused girl escapes violence and overcomes learning issues to surpass expectations.
Education (tutoring), Financial Stability (self-reliance) and Health (escape from abuse) emphasis
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Katherine (not her real name, privacy protected) had endured horrible physical and emotional abuse for years. At the tender age of 10, she was removed from the toxic environment and placed with one of our United Way partner agencies. When she arrived at the agency, she was labeled as a mentally handicapped child and was afraid to allow anyone near her. She was scared and unaware of what her young future would hold.
With counseling sessions held regularly at the agency, Katherine started attending school and her life began to flourish. Over time, she was able to take the turmoil she had lived through and use it to help the other girls in the home face the truth about their pasts as well. She became a true leader.
Seeing her progress, the agency reevaluated its original diagnosis of her mental capabilities. To help Katherine in her school work, the agency brought in tutors. Two years after the tutors had started their lessons, Katherine was able to test out of the mental handicap classes and join her peers in the regular high school curriculum.
As the years passed, Katherine did not have anywhere to call home outside of the agency. She asked agency staff if she could stay and call the agency home through the remainder of her high school graduation.
“This had never been done before,” said one agency worker. “The arrangement was made that the basement would be transformed into an apartment so that Katherine could learn independence, responsibility, and gain the basic life lessons that everyone needs.”
Katherine wanted to reach a goal that just a few years before would have seemed impossible. She not only wanted to graduate from high school but she also wanted to attend college. After graduating from high school, with the agency’s help, Katherine began attending a community college.
“Last May, Katherine became an official college graduate,” said one agency worker. “All of her family from our agency was there to cheer her on!”
Katherine now spends her time working as an employee for the very agency that has made such a difference in her life. She is also in the process of pursuing her education to achieve a Bachelor’s Degree! Thanks to your generous support of United Way, Katherine has surpassed all predictions about her life against incredible odds.
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Story 8: A boy in an abusive home begins displaying aggressive behaviors to peers and adults. Education (counseling), Health (escape from abusive home life, abuse therapy) emphasis
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Jeffrey (not his real name, privacy protected) was a young boy out of control. He was regularly acting aggressively towards his classmates, his mother and his teacher. Only 10 years old, he was already acting out the lessons he had observed due to repeated domestic violence in his home.
When he was first brought to one of our United Way network agencies, he was even acting aggressive towards the agency counselors. His mother was despondent and had no idea of what to do with him.
“Jeffrey’s mother was facing multiple challenges all at the same time. She was afraid of her abusive husband and she was having to find housing, work and transportation on her own. She also had to work with the legal system to get an order of protection,” said the agency counselor. “We knew we would have to put a lot of individual attention on Jeffrey, and that his recovery would take time.”
During the early stages of Jeffrey's treatment, his school often called his mother repeatedly, sometimes three and four times per week, for something to be done about his behavior.
With counseling and dedicated attention, Jeffrey did begin to learn ways to control his anger. After nine months as part of the agency’s program, he also started to display non-violent ways of settling conflicts. Jeffrey was beginning to see that there was a better way to handle difficult problems.
Children who grow up in abusive households are more likely to repeat that behavior when they themselves become adults unless they can learn new ways of dealing with anger and anxiety. With help from his counselors, Jeffrey has learned to significantly reduce his levels of anger, shame and anxiety and he is behaving much better in school. His grades have also improved.
Thanks to your generous support of United Way, Jeffrey is on his way to a more normal life. He has learned that violence is not the answer to solving problems or resolving conflicts. Despite his experiences in a home filled with domestic violence, he is well on his way to having a more peaceful future, not repeating the actions in his own life as an adult.
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Story 9: A teenager living in poverty and involved in a gang escapes to a positive future and stronger personal values.
Education (moral values), Health (positive life decisions) emphasis.
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The poverty in Philip's young life had led to desperate decisions, and now those poor decisions had led him to become involved in a gang. By most measures, Philip's life was entering a path that might end in a tragic death.
Phillip (not his real name for privacy reasons) and his mother needed a safe place they could call home. By age 17, Phillip and his mother had spent years constantly moving from city to city. Phillip’s mother held odd jobs for short periods of time and did what she could to take care of her son, but now he needed additional help.
Reaching out for help, Phillip called one of United Way's partner agencies for assistance. He and his mother had moved yet again, and he was not happy. Against his mother’s wishes, he visited the agency on his own.
“Life had been hard for this young man. He appeared to be reaching out for the structure, the rules and the responsibility that comes with being a part of our program,” one counselor noted. “He was calling out for help. Having participated in our agency programs in another city, he experienced positive things like camping trips. He understood the value of our program and the difference it was making in his life. Phillip was learning and carrying those value lessons inside of himself, and wanted more of that type of input in his life.”
Phillip spent a lot of time traveling back and forth to the agency. According to his counselor, not once did he complain about the long bus trips he had to take to arrive at the agency or the length of the group discussions about value lessons.
“We were a refuge for him,” the counselor added. “We were a place without all the stresses of a difficult home life and without the dangers of the gang in which he had become involved.”
Eventually, things in Philip's life grew even worse and he had to resort to sleeping on people’s doorsteps because he could not find anyone that would take him in. Once the agency staff learned of this, they arranged to help Philip reach out to one of his relatives and continue participating in the agency's programs.
Your support of United Way helps fund this program and other nonprofits that work with local teenagers who need extra support just to live a normal life. Today, Phillip is getting healthier, putting his life back together and focusing on positive priorities such as finishing school.
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Story 10: A new teen mother finds herself alone in a strange area with no help or support. Education (community resources, parenting classes) Financial Stability (GED program, job training and test tutoring) and Health (post-natal training, seeking of job with health benefits for self and child) emphasis.
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Jaycee (not her real name for privacy reasons) became pregnant as a young teenager and gave birth to a wonderful baby boy. Following the advice of people in her life, she relocated to our region. Not long after arriving here, all the promises of help she had received proved hollow. Jaycee and her infant son were alone and without any available support services.
Scared, hungry and very insecure about the future, she was brought to a United Way partner agency where she was able to gain the knowledge and advice to start making lasting changes to her life.
“Jaycee did not know what to do when she came here,” said one agency counselor. “We got her in one of our abuse prevention programs and it not only helped her, but we were also able to help her child by providing Jaycee some important post-natal training.”
With even more intensive intervention, Jaycee successfully completed the program’s "Parenting Wisely" curriculum which promotes nurturing, self-esteem and bonding.
“Our agency provided childcare services for Jaycee's son while she attended our GED Program,” the counselor said. “Jaycee now has her GED and is able to work part-time as a tutor in our organization.”
Thanks to your support of United Way, Jaycee just recently took her ASVAB test (a test for entering military service) and scored in the top 20% percentile in the nation.
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